Cactus in the Slammer!

News has rolled in just as we were relegating 2010 to the annals of failure. While Mr. E and Ernie were headed back to Daytona Beach to lick their wounds, I (Derrick) received a message from the victims. Indeed, we do have a legitimate, confirmed Cactus event in Pearland, TX, and indeed our tip from the security fellow was accurate. Some time before the morning of December 20th, Cacti Noel struck our victim's home with the hideous inflatable cactus. Originally thought to be a wandering yard ornament, the odious nature of the green and red horror became apparent when it was discovered to have been plugged into the victim's home (a sure sign of a cactus event). Our security guard tipster must have witnessed the cactus in the earliest hours of its presence, and the photo we received shows the cactus to be boldly standing tall, defying all good taste and sensibilities.

That was when disaster stuck. When both Ernie and Mr. E surveilled the event location, the cactus had disappeared. The disappearance was unusual, unprecedented, and theories were proposed. A systematic search was conducted but bore no fruit. The victims of this holiday infliction did not respond to the letter we had sent (until now).

I was not able to track their actions after Mr. E's last blog post, but suffice to say that spirits and hope deflated quickly as our two heroic field investigators resolved to quietly come back home. Gas money is low, and it would have been a risk to keep the Field Units in the field.

We had depressing visions of once again losing an opportunity - then NEWS CAME! Our victim family was jolted into action by some unknown affirmation of our organization's legitimacy, much to our elation. We have received news from the "S" Family (names withheld for privacy as per CCIB policy) that the Cactus was apprehended by the local Police Department and is in custody pending the arrival of its rightful owner. Much to our amazement, there is a Christmas Cactus under lock and key, a gift horse into whos mouth we can gaze, an opportunity on a silver platter... but I digress.

Our plan has been proposed to the "S" family, we shall withold details for the moment, for we are sure that the Cacti Noel, whoever he/she/they are, follows with piqued interest this blog. We do not wish to tip our hat, show our cards, or let the proverbial cat out of the bag as to our plans to finally capture an actual Christmas Cactus. This news is gargantuan! The Christmas Cactus hasn't been held in government police custody since the Green Bay Arrest of 1994.

They are currently (as I type) passing through Mississippi headed back to Texas to arrange a meeting with the victims. I will update you when I receive our next scheduled communication from the field.

With great anticipation,
Derrick - CCIB HQ

Pleading for your aid, dear readers!

I am chomping at the bit for information, fellow Cacti investigators! Since the disappearance of a confirmed cactus event, we have focused our efforts on locating the holiday specter that has vanished. I checked into a local motel on Highway 35 in Pearland today in the hopes of joining Ernie on his systematic search of Pearland for the missing cactus. Once here, I have not been able to locate Ernie nor have I seen FUV1 in the area. I only hope Ernie has had more good fortune than I have. FUV2 is acting up, but should be fine. We are hopeful to solve this mystery this year, we are so close.

If you have any information about the whereabouts of the cactus, or if you know any residents who have been victimized by the Cacti Noel this year, please encourage them to contact us at legendofthechristmascactus@gmail.com as soon as possible. It is critical that we contact the residents before Christmas day, for if they have removed the cactus themselves, they are in peril from the hazardous and unpredictable Cacti Noel. Who knows what mayhem can result if this shady group of person is faced with a challenge by one of its victims? Oh, the thought of it!

And to you, dear resident, who has surely received our letter begging you for help, would you please be bold and make a stand to help us solve this historically critical mystery of epic magnitude? If you have received our letter and viewed our website, surely then you know the great lengths to which we are spending ourselves. Since all of our suspected victims have not yet responded, we are considering delivering a second Letter of Urgency tomorrow on Christmas Eve... if the Christmas Cactus has struck your family or your friends, please alert them immediately of the dangers of not having the Christmas Cactus present on Christmas Day. We are almost to the end of the Christmas season and all our leads have dried up!

I will keep looking for Ernie and the cactus, and will update you later.

Until news arrives (or doesn't), if you have any information leading to the discovery of the Christmas Cactus, or to report a sighting, please email us at legendofthechristmascactus@gmail.com.

Disappearance!

Update: The Cactus has mysteriously disappeared, or our intelligence is faulty. Ernie made it to Pearland, TX shortly after noon today and phoned me with questions about the sighting address (he left his lead sheets and reports at a Wings 'n More where he had taken his lunch break). After confirming the address, he did not see a cactus. A large dog kept him from making a thorough investigation of the yard, and we have decided to wait upon our letter to arrive at the residence in order that the victims might be pro-active in contacting us. We have found it is frequently best to allow the victim to make first contact, for numerous reasons.

Sadly, the cactus has either been moved by Cacti Noel operatives, picked up by the homeowner (very bad news, if true) or we have recevied a dead lead and will need to track down Mr. J. Alvarez to confirm the location. In the mean time, Ernie and will systematically patrol the Pearland area looking for leads. I will check out of our motel here in Tomball after this update and will re-locate to a Pearland motle to be better positioned.

As always, if you have any information leading to the discovery of the Christmas Cactus, or to report a sighting, please email us at legendofthechristmascactus@gmail.com.

Late Lead for the 2010 Season!

We have a good lead and as we have expertly predicted, Cacti Noel appears to have remained in the greater Houston metro area for 2010. A security guard, one Mr. J. Alvarez, emailed us a photo taken in a southside subdivision of Houston on December 20th of this year. Our lab has processed the photo and confirmed that the apparition has all of the characteristics of a Christmas Cactus (see photo, attached). Derrick has dispatched a letter to the resident victim.



Our foresight has paid off. In November, we sent Ernie and myself to pre-position Field Unit Vans 1 and 2 in the Houston area, in anticipation of a repeat visit to the region. This morning, I write to you hastily from my Tomball motel room as I prepare to meet Ernie in Field Unit Van 2. We will quickly make our way to Pearl Land, which according to the map is less than an hour south. We hope to make contact with the residents if possible, but surveillance may be a better option based on past experience. Often times, approaching the victim's residence results in a catastrophic drama ending in a botched investigation. Our sense is that Cacti Noel monitors the planted prank carefully; we do not wish to show our hand too soon.

We will have periodic updates, as usual. Our 2010 season is on!!!

As always, if you have any information leading to the discovery of the Christmas Cactus, or to report a sighting, please email us at legendofthechristmascactus@gmail.com.

Where will you be this Christmas season?

Happy holidays, cactus fans! As December rolls in, we are preparing for yet another year of aggressive patrolling in search for the legendary Christmas Cactus! After all that happened last year, we are looking forward to putting the new FUV2 into action! Ernie and I will be departing tomorrow night for the Houston, TX area in FUVs No.1 and No.2 as we prepare to patrol the city, hoping to find the cactus that has appeared there for more than six years in a row (almost a new record!). This might raise concerns among some of the fans, but do not fret! If there are reports of any sightings outside of Houston, TX that look promising, Great Uncle Derrick is ready to go cross-country in FUV3 to investigate any leads outside of the probable area of appearance.

So, cactus seekers, in the year 2010 I ask you this question: Where will you be this Christmas season? At a family reunion? A sports event? Your own home? Friends, I ask that this year you help us more than ever before. Keep your eyes peeled! Be vigillant! One never knows where the cactus may appear. From Florida to Washington and everywhere in between, watch for any signs of a holiday cacti of any kind. We need leads! Please help us spread awareness by telling your friends, family, and co-workers about the legend, and directing them to this site. The more publicity we get, the more likely we are to solve the mystery this year.

As always, if you have any information leading to the discovery of the Christmas Cactus, or to report a sighting, please email us at legendofthechristmascactus@gmail.com. Until news arrives,
Mister E.

Now available FREE! Updated! Legend of the Christmas Cactus: A Detective's Manual

We have finally made our newest edition of Legend of the Christmas Cactus: A Detective's Manual available for free. With the help of Tee shirt sales, we have been able to re-vamp our classic guide. Now, for a limited time (I love saying that!), Legend of the Christmas Cactus: A Detective's Manual is available for you to hone your detecting skills, equip yourself, educate yourself, and help the CCIB solve this mystery for all of mankind.

In the manual you will discover:

• The Legend's History
  
• Who is the CCIB?
  
• How to be an investigator
  
• Tools of the trade
  
• and much more!

Download your free copy here.

You will need to use the free, slower download link on the right of the screen, however, it is safe.

CCIB Transportation Update

Hello to all my fellow cactus hunters! I bring to you off-season but never-the-less uplifting news. As you all know, last year's disappointing disaster led to a wreck of the old CCIB Field Unit Van No.2 (which from here forth we will be calling according to its code name, 'FUV,' when mentioned on the blog), and after conducting many home-repairs we decided it would be best to retire the old Field Unit Van No.2, but instead of taking it to the junk yard we just parked her out behind our storage shed. Below is a picture of the former FUV2.


This brought concerns to the CCIB, since we would not be able to patrol as much area coverage. Thankfully, however, the CCIB received a grant from a stimulus package from President Obama, which we were able to use to purchase another FUV! For a grand total of $450 I walked away with a (used) vehicle. After spray-painting our logo on two new vehicles using our customized CCIB logo stencil, we hauled the replacement vehicle back to headquarters. With the new edition we thought it would be wonderful to share some pictures with you long-time followers of the legend.

Field Unit Van No. 1, the most trustworthy van of all that has kept us going since 1973.

The new Field Unit Van No. 2, purchased with money received from a government grant as part of President Obama's stimulus package.

Field Unit Van No.3, decorated and ready for the holiday search to continue!

We'd like to give a special thanks to Mac Erichsen at Mac Snaps Photography, Inc., a long time follower of the CCIB, who offered his services on a Saturday when he was off work and wanted to help the cause. Thanks Mac!

2009: Foiled Once Again

Yes, another year has passed and the cactus has once again slipped out of our hands. I cringe to think upon the email I received this morning from the victims of this year's cactus event. As their Special Operations Operator was taking his lunch break, he walked in doors to request a handful of sun-chips. When he returned to his post, he found the no traces of the cactus whatsoever. I dare not say that it is a result of his laziness or lack of thoroughness, but I am led to believe that the Cacti Noel made a trip from our location after damaging our vehicle to pick up the cactus, and then waited patiently for his opportunity. When it arrived, he snatched the cactus and fled, until he can once again victimize another poor soul next year. Apparently the "Special Operations Operator" we had been told about was not so special at operating, after all. Dedicated though he might have been, we recently discovered he was only a family member and fan of the CCIB. We must encourage future victims of the Noel Cacti to hire only competent professionals, if anyone at all. The best course of action is, of course, to keep the sighting details carefully guarded and all investigation efforts channeled though the professionals at the CCIB.

But do not fret. With this bad news also comes a hint as to who the Cacti Noel is/are. While the Special Operations Operator went inside for just a few minutes and the planter of the cactus returned to pick up his cactus, the Special Operations Operator's security camera was rolling! The camera only captured one frame every three seconds, but the following image that the Special Operations Operator kindly shared with us give us a look into who the Cacti Noel truly is.


If you recognize this person or have any identifying leads, please do not hesitate to send a report to legendofthechristmascactus@gmail.com. We would be exceedingly grateful for any cooperation whatsoever.

And so, my fellow cactus hunters, once again I bear the bad news of another defeated year. It will take me a few weeks to get over this crushing defeat, but we will keep on searching throughout the rest of December. Once the new year is here we will be packing up and heading home to Daytona Beach, where we will stay on the alert year-round, analyzing our data from this year, asking tough questions about our failure, honing our skills, and searching for clues during the off-season months as to who this Cacti Noel really is. We'll keep you updated. Until the new decade,

Mister E.

A Mysterious Visit!

We are burdened with the task of bringing an update of bad tidings and depression to our faithful followers. Ernie has finally made it to the Days Inn where I have been hamstrung by circumstances and kept immobile and inactive. Yesterday, I walked to the police station here in Dickenson, Texas, which I am unfortunately now all too familiar with. I went to plead my case to the station chief and to ask that he return our van out of the impound yard, because our cause is for the sake of all mankind. I was not successful. Chief Morales agreed our ongoing investigation was important and an issue of great profundidty, but he said it would take on a greater weight if I had produced the $214.53 required to pay our impound fee and parking ticket. That fiasco ate up my whole day.

When I returned to the hotel, the manager was waiting for me with a large bill, and refused any further internet connectivity in the business center until I paid up. Of course, I had no hope of paying until Ernie arrived with our CCIB resources, so I walked back to my room, crestfallen, to pack my bags and become a real 'field agent', so to speak. Imagine my surprise when I walked into the room and found Ernie eating a nice room service meal and enjoying a pay-per-view Christmas special on the television! He had arrived!

Unfortunately, Ernie's trek from the north side of Houston, where he had been pre-positioned weeks ago in anticipation of area sightings, was rather convoluted. He received my call to meet me here by browsing our website. As he set off, he asked for directions along the way to Dixon (he misunderstood where I was) and ended up somewhere near Corpus Christi, Texas, which on a map is quite a shockingly far distance from Dickenson! He pulled over and asked directions from a kind man who knew the Houston area at least somewhat because his family was planning a move in the upcoming months to the great city.

Now Ernie's here at last, and though he burned up $275 in gas, we have enough funds to pay our hotel bill, get a bite to eat (there's a Waffle House down the road!), AND we have sufficient funds to retrieve Field Unit Van No.1 out of impound. Sadly, that will need to wait until after Christmas, because the police chief told me the impound guys are off for the holidays (if any of our faithful readers happens to work for Dickinson Towing Co., can you help us out?). And that's not all. When and I pulled out of the parking lot this evening, the brakes failed on us. Gaining speed, we rolled down a ramp and into a pole in the parking garage, slightly damaging a car that was exiting nearby, and badly damaging the van's engine. After getting out of the vehicle and opening the hood, we found a note pasted inside.

"c@n`7 Le7 u d0 7h@t 101z -c@c71 n031"

After deciphering, Ernie translated the encrypted message into a taunt like no other before.

"Can't let you do that, lolz*. -Cacti Noel."

Blast! Does this mean that the Cacti Noel was here, vandalizing our van? We don't know, but for now, the van is inoperable. It frustrates me more than you know, fellow cactus hunters, that a meeting had been arranged with holders of the cacti, and yet again our plans have been foiled!

I must attend to the vehicle situation at the moment. I will let you know first thing when any news arrives. Let's hope that it's not too late!

* Ernie says that in leek speak it is common to see acronyms such a "L.O.L." that represent the words, "Laugh out loud." We are both puzzled and stumped, however, of what the Z at the end could represent. If you have any thoughts on what the translation of "lolz" could be, please send us an email at legendofthechristmascactus@gmail.com.

Sunday Afternoon Update

Having been unusually frustrated by our lack of preparedness during this event, I am disappointed to report few changes in the situation since I last updated you faithful Cactus followers - with one or two exceptions.

It seems our victim family (names withheld for privacy) has hired a special operations operator fellow to protect them from any further Noel Cacti activity. This seems wise to me. I just hope we don't fall into a situation like we did in Montgomery back in '88 where Ernie (then a young pup) and Great Uncle E. were investigating a sighting in a suburban yard. This particular sighting was significant for it was also the first time a Christmas Cactus event was caught on film (there have been three other filmings of Cactus activity since, some by the Noel Cacti themselves. Unfortunately, the films CCIB had possession of were lost in the fire of '92.). Terribly, however, the event degraded to a brawl with the home owner, a man that perhaps was on the insane side, when he refused to believe the legend. Apparently he had been fooled by the Noel Cacti and believed he had made and installed the hideous lawn ornament himself. The local Constabulatory fellow was called in and Ernie and Great Uncle E. ended up on the wrong end of a gun. The Bail bonds really hurt the funds that year.

As for the event this year, we will be issuing a press release later on tonight, and perhaps a local newspaper will pick up the story; it always seems to help generate interest in the CCIB.

Another encouraging note, Ernie apparently made contact with the Day's Inn front desk asking for directions to here, so I am happy to report he is on his way. The fellow working the front desk, though he seems rather annoyed by me, is nice enough. He said Ernie must have passed us up last night trying to get here, since his call was from a Valero station in Port Aransas. I assume that's one of these little towns like Dickenson further down the interstate. I'm hopeful he will be here for us to share our data over dinner.

I'll have an update soon with more on the GFC 09 event!

As always, if you have any information leading to the discovery of the Christmas Cactus, or to report a sighting, please email us at legendofthechristmascactus@gmail.com.

-Mister E.

Road bumps at the worst possible time!

After I my last update, I received one more email from the homeowner saying that his family, after looking into the legend, would be willing to allow me to visit their home to conduct a full investigation as soon as possible. Now, more bad news. As I walked out of the hotel to head to the victims' house, I found that Field Unit Van number 1 - the one that formerly was parked outside my hotel room with a quarter tank of gas in it - has been towed for being parked in front of a fire hydrant. It has my wallet, credentials, cell phone, field investigator kit, and our high-tech night vision camera we got from Bass Pro Shop a couple of years ago. With no mode of transportation, all I could do was go to bed here at the hotel; but I could not sleep. Too much is going on and my comrades are apparently not able to contact me, which has me worried about their qualifications for this job.

I really need Ernie to contact me, so followers, please forgive this little bit of official business being posted here; I do not think Ernie or Great Uncle Derick back at HQ have cell phone service because neither is answering my calls from the hotel phone (which costs money). In case Ernie or Derick log onto the website any time soon, I must use this unprofessional manner of business:

Ernie, Derrick! Answer your phone! Derrick, pay the bill if that is the problem. Ernie, get down here to the Days Inn in Dickenson Texas ASAP! We need the van! Mine was towed and I have no money to get it out. We have a contact! I repeat, WE HAVE A CONTACT! This is important. Stop lollygaggin' and git in touch!

(Apologies to all reasonable-minded folk for my frantic, last-ditch effort to get our apparently inept team of investigators in hi-gear, if they weren't kin folk, I'd have a mind to fire 'em)

Historic Cactus Case Advancing!

Friends, fans, fellow cacti victims,

I am overjoyed and almost beside myself with excitement! Our greatest lead in the history of the CCIB has generated a confirmed sighting and contact with the homeowners of the most promising Cactus case I can remember. My poor old Grandpa E. may finally be vindicated (if you follow the legend, you know he was so shocked by the sudden appearance of the Christmas Cactus that he was struck speechless for three weeks!).

Our letter, sent to the resident of the latest sighting after a lead from a local elementary school teacher, was answered just hours ago and we are assured that the residents are willing to cooperate with our investigation. The reason, we have discovered, that the hideous cactus was not present when I surveyed the property on Thursday is because the homeowner family moved the monstrosity to their back yard! To think I was merely 30 yards away from an actual Cactus manifestation and did not know it!

I am continuing communication with the homeowner at the moment, learning more and more about this event. I am hoping to arrange to conduct an investigation on the cactus in their back yard if they permit. I'll keep you updated!

A Great Mystery, Investigation Delayed

I am back from our first investigation of the house where this morning's sighting and photograph were taken. I do not know whether to be stunned or disappointed. I am positive I had the right address, but the Christmas Cactus was not present. The house itself matched our lead's address (address withheld during investigation) and the description was correct, and I even believe I saw an impression on the ground of a Cactus base, but cannot be sure. What I am sure about is that the Cactus is not there.

I attempted to contact our witness, the school teacher, but she did not return email and did not leave us a phone number.

My three theories are:

1. The Christmas Cactus sighting was a cruel hoax by the Noel Cacti. After all, the Noel Cacti taunt email from October seemed to imply the shady group was planning to torment the CCIB with some sort of wild goose chase, and last year's three reports in Arizona were likely a trap set up by the villain himself to lure us off his path.

2. The Cactus was removed by the homeowner. We will dispatch a letter to the homeowner immediately (we like to keep it official; showing up on someone's doorstep unannounced has proven hazardous in the past). Our letter will be a standard sighting inquiry and we will include a copy of the photo give by our witness to see if the homeowner can confirm or deny the image.

3. The Christmas Cactus sighting information given to us by the witness was incorrect.

We genuinely hope that the Cactus has not been removed by the homeowner, this usually brings a series of further Cactus events to the home, but we will know more when we make contact with the home owner through official and formal channels. It is crucial at this point in time to alert the poor victim(s) of the dangers that come with hiding or removing a Christmas Cactus from its planted location, if, indeed, they were victimized.

As you can imagine, I am sorely disappointed, and now have to wait upon the mail as Uncle Derrick forwards our standard letter and case file photo to the home owner and we await a response. In the mean time, I will be patrolling the area in Field Unit Van No.1 as much as our limited gas funds allow, and will remain in the Days Inn here in Dickenson. Ernie will be joining me to conserve our expenses, but Uncle Derrick back at HQ is offline for some reason. We will call him soon.

Fan Q&A
We received a question from an amateur investigator overnight that was sadly lost in the excitement, so I will answer publicly and offer my apologies to the emailer, Mr. Pren Raman.

Mr. Raman asks "What is the best source of information for one interested in helping to solve this terribly cruel mystery?" That's a great question, and I apologize for not being more responsive Mr. Raman. The best source of info is this website and the CCIB Investigator's Handbook, which is almost ready for publishing. We have been working for years to revise the old edition (published 1976, discontinued 1982) and have become the world's foremost source for Christmas Cactus knowledge and investigation. Any amateur sleuths would be well served to buy our handbook when it comes out. We do not merely promote ourselves to be prideful or to make money (although the money will be a great help to solve the mystery for the benefit of mankind), but because it simply is true - we ARE the best source of information. Please read through our website from the bottom (Oldest entries) up to get the best education about the legend of the Christmas Cactus anywhere, until the handbook manual is released.

As always, if you have any information leading to the discovery of the Christmas Cactus, or to report a sighting, please email us at legendofthechristmascactus@gmail.com.

-Mister E.

Lead with hard evidence!

How good fortune has shined on the CCIB this year! Our plan to pre-position field units in Texas has paid off, for we have our first confirmed Cactus sighting of 2009 with hard evidence, and it was in the Houston area again!

At approximately 4:35 in the morning today, an elementary school teacher (name withheld by request) in the southwest Houston suburbs emailed a lead to us. She had seen what she thought might be a large, green yard ornament out of the corner of her eye while traveling down a boulevard. After looking again, she spied what she thought was a Christmas Cactus and immediately returned to confirm her suspicion. Upon arriving, our witness tried desperately to snap a photo. Unfortunately, being in the dead of early morning, a local police officer interpreted her activity as suspicious, stopped her, and asked her to leave the area, assuming she was up to no good. She was only able to take one hasty and quick photo before having to leave. We received an email from her phone, and the file was slightly damaged in the process of the transfer, but this is still the greatest breakthrough we've had since 2006:


Seen above is definitely a Christmas Cactus, the classic shape and size of recent descriptions, and likely the same Cactus we saw in the region two years ago. It appears the Noel Cacti are staying in this area. We have a good address that checks out with her testimony, and by later this morning I hope to have clear photos, hard evidence, and a stake out plan in place to nab the Noel Cacti this year.

Our witness's testimony is lucid and clear, and seeing that she is a CCIB fan for a while and is familiar with the legend history, we currently have no reason to believe this lead to be false. Our only concern is that she said the house where this cactus event is alleged to be occurring has other ornaments and decorations. This would be an uncommon act - the Christmas Cactus is usually deployed in yards with no decorations.

I, being the closest field unit van to the location of the sighting, (I see on our Key Map it is near League City, Texas on the southeast side of Houston), will leave immediately after this update to investigate.

Ernie is stationed on the north side of town and I have been staying in the Days Inn on interstate 45 near a town called Dickenson, about 30 minutes away from our alleged event. I have called Ernie to come assist, and Derrick back in Daytona Beach is working on the case in a support role, while I will be the primary ground investigator for this event. I have high hopes that this sighting; mere hours ago will be a great breakthrough. This is the fastest response time we have yet had for any sighting! Our evidence we gather today will be presented as soon as we open a case.

Stay tuned!

Cryptic Taunt!

Supporters and friends,

This year has been a rough move for us, we have had our power cut off twice since we moved in back in February to our new home in Daytona Beach. It seems the part time work I was doing for a local charity has not been enough to make up for the lack of support for the CCIB, so we have been in hard times. With the economy the way it is, I understand people's reluctance to help out the CCIB and purchase our goods, so we have decided to lower the price of the shirts we sell as one token of appreciation and help in hard times. Please consider helping, for though we rent the storage unit with the attached office for the CCIB, me, Ernie and Great Uncle Derick also live here for now. Its not easy, but we believe we are more strategically placed to solve the mystery since all of the recent reliable sightings have been in the south.

Now, on to the news. I received an email from a from one claiming to be named "Noel Cacti", the same email address was used that previous taunts came from. Ernie says it is still in some form of 'leek speak', often used on the internet by young riff-raff types (and as I said before, he learned about this in his computer classes, I was skeptical if they would be of any use but I see now that he's actually learning things, but again I digress.)

Here is the message we received (I did not change it at all):

"CaNt HiDe, we C U! TX n 09! RoAD tRip 4U LOL - N03L CaCt1"

Ernie has interpreted the message as a taunt, apparently the 'Noel Cacti' has followed our every move and knows we are now in Florida and plans to hit Texas again this year to force a long trek for us. Ernie saus the message should read "You cannot hide, we see you. Texas in 2009, a road trip for you - Noel Cacti". If this is accurate, and I believe it is, being a little more fluent in hooligan online writing style, it is a groundbreaking admission that the Noel Cactis is what we have thought - more than one person. The writer said "we", so it is a network, or at least more than one person working together.

We will update, and plan to preposition Ernie and myself in Texas next month while Great Uncle Derick holds down the HQ.

More later, we have work to do!

As always, if you have any information leading to the discovery of the Christmas Cactus, or to report a sighting, please email us at legendofthechristmascactus@gmail.com.

Legend History - Medieval Cactus

Our diligent research continues. In hopes of discovering some clues into the Legend of the Christmas Cactus, our chief research agents (Great Uncle Derick, Mister E., and the ever-perceptive Ernie), are constantly combing the catacombs of history to uncover documentation of this most harrowing of legends.

In our recent trip to the archives at the public library, we finally secured credentials to scavenge the library art holdings. This is a key resource for historical investigation, for when there were no newspapers or this internet, art was where stuff was found. We have discovered many interesting clues in the annals of art, which will be included in our upcoming field guide, "The Legend of The Christmas Cactus: A Detective's Manual".

To whet your appetite, we will be sharing many of our findings here, including this tantalizing illuminated page from Italy which shows the walled city of Constantinople around the year 1475. Notice that the artist has illustrated what we now know to have been a scourge upon this historic city - the Christmas Cactus!


With proper training, one can clearly see the Cactus in its medieval form hiding out among the trees. Our expert investigators have examined and enlarged the Cactus for you to witness with your own two eyes. Its undeniable evidence that this mystery has a worldwide, age-old past!

As always, if you have any information leading to the discovery of the Christmas Cactus, or to report a sighting, please email us at legendofthechristmascactus@gmail.com.

2009 is here and the CCIB is on the move!

Well friends and faithful supporters, 2009 is here and we are now excitedly preparing for the Christmas season this year from the sunny state of Florida! Our new HQ (and our home) is in lovely Daytona Beach (near Ft. Lauderdale), a swanky town, but one that cut us a great deal on a storage unit with attached office space. Now that we have some room to work from, and a permanent place to store our research and archives, 2008's dismal failure will be marked off as experience and 2009 brings anticipation!

I'll be updating our blog as we make inroads to solving the mysterious hi-jinx of the Noel Cacti and the legend of the Christmas Cactus through the year, but as usual, action picks up nearer to the holidays.

In the mean time, our book, "Legend of the Christmas Cactus: A Detective's Manual", is almost finished and will be available sometime, we hope, in the near future. We know many of our supporters, especially those who have been long time subscribers to the old newsletter, have been asking for this handbook. Never fear, we are almost done!

If you would like to support the CCIB, you can purchase a shirt by following the link on the right of the blog. All profit is used for CCIB official business, and is our greatest source of support. Please consider helping solve this age-old mystery, especially if you have been victimized by the shock of a Christmas Cactus event.

And. . . . . . As always, if you have any information leading to the discovery of the Christmas Cactus, or to report a sighting, please email us at legendofthechristmascactus@gmail.com.

One more year of failure

I will keep this short because I am very discouraged. As I write from a motel room in New Mexico, after such high expectations of a solid discovery, I am downtrodden because it was all for naught. In fact, I never could find any hint of the location reported to be in the three emails I received regarding the Christmas Cactus sightings mentioned in our previous post.

In fact, I now suspect they were all hoaxes designed to throw us off the trail of the Noel Cacti activity, which must again have been down in Texas. Now, on Christmas day, I sit here wondering how many unsuccessful years will go by before we are able to document a sighting in person.

I will be posting soon about our upcoming move to Florida; we had hoped to move to Texas since the trends show this is the center of Cactus activity for the time being, but we got a better deal in Florida. I'll be able to update later, for now I will resign 2008 to the history books and look forward to a fresh start for 2009. Thank you for your continued support and for the donations.

As always, if you have any information leading to the discovery of the Christmas Cactus, or to report a sighting, please email us at legendofthechristmascactus@gmail.com.

Three Reports, One Lead

Great news, Cactus lovers! I clunked into Salt Lake City today, arriving at my camp site destination. After unloading and grabbing a bite to eat I headed down to the local library so I could check the CCIB inbox. With Ernie staying in a motel with no internet access, and Great Uncle Derick on his way to North Carolina--whom, on a side note, I have not heard anything from since his departure this morning--I am the only one who frequents the inbox. As the page took it's normal 2-minute-load time I eagerly awaited for any lead to appear, hopefully one in Houston. To my great joy I found 3 emails all related to the same incident! Apparently, these tips all repotred that the victims are a family of six that has recently moved to a small town in northern New Mexico that lies in between Farmington and Aztec. One of the emails had a detailed description of the cactus...

"... Its sorta like a really large paper maché figureen. It looks kinda fuzzy, and it lights up as well. There is a long orange extension chord that plugs into an electricity outlet on their front porch. [...] It is a hidious being, really... and I want the CCIB to come and get rid of it. If it stays here to much longer I'm afraid my property values will rapidly decrease. ..."

All of the reports have similar descriptions, and this is the first time in many years that the CCIB has received such a high amount of sightings all in one place at one time. I am now altering my course to go and investigate. I hope to get there by the 16th to investigate this scene.

Ernie is still patrolling Houston, hopefully making some progress. I haven't heard from him in a while, so after I finish this entry I believe I'll call him and let him know of the 3 reports, and that I will not be joining him in the next few days.

As always, if you have any information leading to the discovery of the Christmas Cactus, or to report a sighting, please email us at legendofthechristmascactus@gmail.com.

Portland Failure, Back to Houston

As I suspected, the lead I have just investigated in Portland, Oregon was a big, fat flop. I arrived at the alleged location of a cactus sighting at around 2:30 this afternoon, but I was surprised to find that it was an apartment complex with no yard. I spoke with the couple living in the apartment complex who reported the sighting, and they told me that a small, green, light-up cacti had been placed on their front porch two days ago, but when they went outside this morning, it had vanished. I became suspicious and conducted a little more investigation. After all, I hadn't driven all the way across the country to find it to be a big hoax. I spoke with a neighbor that lived in one of the apartments upstairs, who said she had gone to borrow a few eggs the other day. She confirmed that there was, in fact, never any appearance of a Christmas ornament of any kind. On top of that, the landlord of the apartment complex told me that all holiday-themed decorations were not permitted in the apartments, and the renters who claimed to have the cactus on their porch had never broken any of the rules. To be sure that I didn't leave without being utterly convinced that there was no cactus appearance, I went to the Waffle House that was next door to the apartments and asked the part-time assistant manager if any of their parking lot security cameras had a view of the apartment. Luckily, "WafHos_ID361_CAM04" had a decent view of the apartment unit under investigation. He gave me a tape with the past two days of camera footage (thanks to our donors and merchandise customers who funded our new CCIB credentials and badges) and after scientifically reviewing each hour of footage that was recorded, it became obvious that there was no cactus at all; only a UPS deliveryman and a stray cat. Maybe the couple just wanted publicity like the Floridan potato farmer of '06. Who knows, but we do not wish to press the issue and become wrapped up in some crazy delusion. On to greater things...

Today Great Uncle Derick and Field Unit Van #3 (complete with a new spare tire thanks to our faithful donors) left for Tennessee to investigate a reported victim's yard being "devoured by a horde of Santa Clause-themed desert plants," according to the report details. From the email it sounds like there are many cacti in the yard. Meanwhile Ernie is still systematically mapping out the Houston, Texas area looking for clues, but all for naught so far, for there have been no leads, clues, hints or sightings of any holiday-themed cacti at all, only a Christmas Tamale and a few inflatable Mexican jalapenos (common sight in the South with their spices and whatnot) .

For our donors', here is a report of how your generous aid is going to be used to continue the search for the terror of the Christmas Cactus. Today I will be heading to join Ernie in Houston and will be checking my email in the Public Library in Salt Lake City for any leads. If Field Unit Van #1 holds up, I hope to join cousin Ernie soon.

As always, if you have any information leading to the discovery of the Christmas Cactus, or to report a sighting, please email us at legendofthechristmascactus@gmail.com.

Faithfully searching,
Mr. E

Leads rolling in!

More leads! Great Uncle Derick has been manning the email in box this season and has reported a flurry of Christmas Cactus Sighting leads! As I type, I am at an internet cafe in Ogden, Utah attempting to make my way to the northern border of the United States where a sighting of a mysterious cactus with a red hat has supposedly appeared. Field unit van #1 is performing well, and I can say that I am pleased I have not had the same problems that Ernie has had down in Texas.

Ernie has reported that Field unit van #2 is now repaired, and he has begun routine patrols of the neighborhoods surrounding the area of last year's sighting. We have confirmed that last year's sighting was indeed in the Clear Lake area, and Ernie reports that Clear Lake is in fact anything but clear. But again, I digress.

Ernie investigated two leads that came in this week in the Houston area and both turned out to be dead ends. One was a large trash bag filled with leaves while the other appeared to be an illuminated halapeenyo pepper with a sombrero hat. Poor Ernie was run off the site of the pepper sighting by a rather unfriendly German Shepherd dog and barely made in back to the safety of the Field Unit Van.

As we continue to evaluate leads, our most dedicated efforts are the city of Houston and surrounding towns, since the last few years' sightings have all be from that area. Perhaps the perpetrator of the mysterious Cactus legend prank is trying to make us complacent and lazy to throw us off his trail. Maybe he intends to continue striking in the Houston area. We must be getting close!

As always, if you have any information leading to the discovery of the Christmas Cactus, or to report a sighting, please email us at legendofthechristmascactus@gmail.com.

December 2008 Updates

Christmas Cactus sighting leads this year have been slow, as they usually are through the spring, summer and fall, making these off-seasons prime research periods for the CCIB staff. As leads begin to pick up in frequency (4 last week and 8 this week already!) we are beginning to enter that very small but exciting period of a few brief weeks when things move very quickly. When a lead is reported and validated, we have only precious hours to reach the site and confirm the presence of the mysterious Christmas Cactus, and apprehend the perpetrators of this most mysterious shenanigan. This means we must be on our toes, so to speak.

As we await leads eagerly, I will be scanning a couple of newly-discovered documents that our research department uncovered over the course of the year and sharing those that seem to be legitimate references to this ghastly and dangerous prank. Last year's very close encounter with the cactus ended in disappointment, but we acquired exceptional data, images and clues in last year's botched attempt. At least we actually SAW the cactus for once and snapped an actual photo (see it below), the only one known and confirmed photo of the cactus in its present form. My Great Uncle Derick, crack research assistant for the CCIB, discovered that there may be more than one Christmas Cactus being thrust upon unwary families, but this remains to be confirmed.

Ernie called from the Houston area where he is on station at a local motel, awaiting orders. He said it is rainy and cold, it even snowed, yet his spirits seemed high. However, he has unfortunately had to put Field Unit Van #2 in the shop to replace the water pump. The shop guy said 3 days because he had to order parts, so hopefully this minor setback won't foil our prudent attempts to station a unit in a likely location for this year's hoped-for appearance. This will seriously cut into our meager budget for field operations (T-short sales only go so far in the world of investigation), but we will remain optimistic.

As always, if you have any information leading to the discovery of the Christmas Cactus, or to report a sighting, please email us at legendofthechristmascactus@gmail.com.

-Mister E.

Last year's taunt

For those who follow our CCIB Investigation closely, let me pass on some info. Last year, after being foiled by the Christmas Cactus perpetrators, whoever they may be, the CCIB was taunted with e-mail messages from one claiming to be named "Noel Cacti".

The following cryptic message was received last year, apparently in some sort of code. Ernie says it is 'leek speak', often used on the internet by young riff-raff types (he learned about this in his computer classes, and I was skeptical if they would be of any use, but I see now that he's actually learning things, but again I digress.) If this is true, Ernie thinks it is a taunt and claims that the person sending the e-mail has indicated that he will strike again in 2008. This can only mean one of two cases are true - 1.) that "Cacti Noel" is the true person behind the legend, perhaps the one we think we can see in the video images we received; or, 2.) that "Cacti Noel" is just pulling our leg.

Whichever is true, we will attempt to get to the bottom of it all and sniff out any clues we can to get to the bottom of this great mystery. Here is the message we received (I did not change it at all):

"r0unD & R0UNd 5H3 G0Ze, ware ShE 5T0p5, N0b0dEE n05e! CACTI BAK n 20o8!|"

Any help with clues is always welcomed:
legendofthechristmascactus@gmail.com.

-Mister E.

Hope for 2008

The disappointing failure of 2007 is certainly upsetting and left the CCIB with a smarting blow to our morale, but there is hope that the mysterious "Legend of the Christmas Cactus" may still be solved. The last spotting of the Cactus, as you all know, was in Houston, TX where it mysteriously disappeared after being very nearly captured by our ever-diligent investigators. We reported last year that our field unit, for the first time, actually saw the fabled Christmas Cactus and got a single photo using our new night-vision equipped camera. Unfortunately, he got lost in the unfamiliar neighborhood and did not locate the Cactus again. When I was finally able to get in touch with him, Ernie in field unit van #2 was in Louisiana; he had somehow managed to get lost and, well, I won't go into how he ended up in another state.

So we have recovered, and as your ever-dutiful CCIB Investigators, we ask again: Will the Christmas Cactus turn up again this year?

With this hope in mind, and the memory and reputation of my poor old Grandpa E. driving my personal desire to solve this mystery, the CCIB has been working all year on more advanced technologies to help with tracking the Christmas Cactus, should it appear. With the help of our T-shirt sales and several anonymous donations, there are now three official CCIB field unit vans ready to dash to any part of the nation to investigate tips and leads. We are also able to send pictures, maps, and more via our new satellite phone internet connection. Unfortunately, we only have one of them and our service provider coverage is spotty. Either Ernie, myself or a local volunteer has to go down to the Carnegiea Public Library to use the internet because the official CCIB computer only has dial up. Still, we hope this high-tech addition will help us.

Last week, we took the prudent action of stationing a field unit van in the area of the last sighting of the Christmas cactus. My cousin and faithful assistant, Ernie, is staying in a motel in Houston, Texas and monitoring CCIB leads remotely by telephone. This year he has a good set of maps that we got at the Exxon Station, they have those good street maps that include close-up parts of the city, so he should be less likely to get off course this year. All of this is expensive, the motel charges by the week and Ernie has already informed me of the challenges of motel life. I owe him a little more respect.

Once again, if you have any information, any knowledge, any tips at all concerning the whereabouts of the elusive Christmas Cactus, or to report a sighting of any kind, please email us at legendofthechristmascactus@gmail.com.

-Mister E

Hopes Dashed to Solve Mystery This Christmas

Our hopes are dashed yet again. Unless by some great act of wonder, field unit in van 2 has become hopelessly lost after making a series of blunders. We were so excited yesterday to have received confirmed pictures of the elusive and mysterious Christmas Cactus in a yard somewhere south of Houston, Texas using our new high tech night vision surveillance camera. After losing contact with van 2, apparently my cousin Ernie got lost and ended up in some place called Slidell... IN LOUISIANA! Now I'm not one to talk harshly about kin folk, but it's Ernie's last time running a CCIB field van, for because of his blundering driving and stubborn refusals to ask for directions, we've lost the Christmas Cactus for sure. If he ever manages to find the house where the Cactus was photographed yesterday, it will probably be long gone.

Friends and fellow Cactus hunters, this makes me so sad! Once again, we were THIS CLOSE!

But we are not without at least a very slim chance. If you know the whereabouts of the Christmas Cactus, or can help us with the very few clues that Ernie managed to pass on to us before his cell phone went dead, maybe there is a chance to solve the mystery. Ernie said he was in a place called Clear Lake, somewhere around an office building that said "Boing". I can't find such a company, and this place called Clear Lake shows up on Google Maps as being brown in color, not clear, so it surely can't be the spot we are looking for. But armed with this info, there may still be hope this year. So, as always, if you have any information leading to the discovery of the Christmas Cactus, or to report a sighting in this so-called "Clear Lake" area, please email us at legendofthechristmascactus@gmail.com.

Latest Update! Sighting Confirmed!!!

Cactus fanatics, I bring you the greatest news since the 1954 Maplewood Township crisis! I am happy to report that Ernie, on his patrols of field unit van 2, has made a stealth pass of a house somewhere near Houston, TX, supposedly on the northeast side of the city. On this drive-by, Ernie spotted something mysterious, and sure enough, after glancing at the picture once again, he confirmed the reported sighting of the cactus in photograph form! Unfortunately, we have lots communication with van 2, perhaps due to the last phone that was cut short when our fearless driver made a wrong turn. Ernie has always been a little 'iffy,' but he was available and willing to go. We really need better field agents.

We hope to finally have the location pinned down before Christmas passes us by and the legendary Christmas Cactus is swept off into mystery for yet another year.

Fellow Cactus Hunters, I present to you the biggest break we've had in year, and the only known photo of the Christmas Cactus in its current form.

2007: Year of Anticipation

Greetings to all of our fellow cactus investigators! A new year has arrived, and it has brought with it a new opportunity to solve the age-old legend of holiday horror. Ladies and gentlemen, after the events of last year, I am more excited than I have been in years. I am gearing up with all of our new high-tech equipment, and will begin patrolling the Houston, TX area with cousin Ernie tomorrow morning at 4:00 AM, sharp. You will be the first to be updated as soon as any information relating to a cactus event is discovered. In the mean time, please consider supporting the CCIB this holiday season! Perhaps you could purchase a Christmas Cactus shirt for a loved one this Christmas to help fund our gas money this season and spread awareness of the great threat that lurks in the midst of everyday society.

As always, if you have any information leading to the discovery of the Christmas Cactus, or to report a sighting, please email us at legendofthechristmascactus@gmail.com.

Off-Season News - CCIB goes High Tech!

For those who check the CCIB Legend of the Christmas Cactus Blog in the non-Christmas Season, I bring you die-hard legend-seekers good news! The CCIB has just acquired a high tech night vision surveillance camera! Yes, now we can operate 24 hours a day from at least one of our field vans! This will come in handy when we get that inevitable lead that takes us to the Christmas Cactus, for our stake-out team will be prepared to observe from a distance to finally capture the culprits on tape! How wonderful a tool this will be to finally, once and for all, answer the age-old question "Who put this ghastly thing in my yard?"

Celebrate with us this balmy July day, for when the weather turns chilly and thoughts of sugar plums and cactus dance in our heads, we'll be ready!

As always, if you have any information leading to the discovery of the Christmas Cactus, or to report a sighting, please email us at legendofthechristmascactus@gmail.com.

-Mister E.

Sad News: Cactus has Vanished for 2006!

Friends and faithful followers of the Christmas Cactus Legend, I bear bad news today. Alas, after a long trek through icy conditions, our trusty field unit has arrived in Friendswood, TX and followed leads to the location where the Christmas Cactus was reported. The home owner's wife and three children (who's identities are on file) were not able to give us any information, saying only "we don't know who owns that thing, but it's gone now. Did you put it here?" I declined of course.

And yes, the bad news is that the Christmas Cactus in gone, vanished! It has eluded me once again, and by such a narrow margin! I could almost touch it, and now its gone, like the mysterious thing that it is. All I was able to find is the sign that was placed upon the cactus, a photo is included here. I'm sending it to the lab for analysis, perhaps we can learn the identity of the perpetrators of this ghastly mystery if we can find cactus residue on the sign. It's a last gasp effort, but may yield valuable clues. Never give up hope, I always say.

So my friends, we move into another year. Where will it turn up? Will it show up again in Wyoming? New Jersey? Utah? Louisiana? Or will it remain in the area as trends seem to suggest? Who will be the unfortunate next victim of the legendary Christmas Cactus?

When we hear of it, you'll be the first to know. For 2006, signing off, Mister E.

Latest Sighting of 2006 Confirmed!

Cacti fans, I bear good news! Yesterday, an anonymous caller phoned in a tip from Friendswood, Texas, stating that the lead in Texas was not a hoax. A Christmas Cactus has been reported planted in some poor soul's yard by multiple callers. In fact, the homeowner must have never heard of the Christmas Cactus legend and thought that the inflatable monstrosity was lost, for he had placed a sign around the neck saying "LOST, PLEASE TAKE ME HOME". Our field unit is in route to Friendswood, which is apparently a town south of Houston. Since he's having to drive through the winter weather of Nebraska after investigating a tip there, he should be in south Houston, Texas on the 26th, and hopefully the Christmas Cactus will still be there and we can solve the mystery for good.

What a great tip! Stay tuned!

New sightings reported

As the holiday season is in its prime, Christmas decorations are going up all over the nation. It is usually at this time we get a large increase in activity in our email in-box. Sightings have been steadily pouring in over the past week, and we have three high-probability leads to investigate this year.

Lead number 1 comes from Raleigh Durham, NC. A local tax assessor spotted what he believed to be the Christmas Cactus being planted in a yard known to belong to a family who rarely decorates for the holidays. From the assessor's description, this is a prime lead. Unit 3 is currently on the way to investigate.

Lead number two comes from a rocket-scientist of a local town called Friendswood, Texas. He claims to have spotted the legendary Cactus in his neighborhood, but cell phone static cut short our conversation. A second call, anonymously, reported the same incident, with details that lead us to believe we have an authentic Christmas Cactus sighting. We've dispatched field unit 2 to Friendswood, wherever that is.

Lead three comes from Lakeland, Florida. This one was emailed to us by a local potato farmer who claims the Christmas Cactus is in his yard as I type. We'll investigate based upon his excellent description. Though unit 1 has been dispatched to the scene and is confident in a positive identification, your host is doubtful. Last year's Florida sighting turned out to be a Mickey Mouse yard ornament with a bad case of mold. Besides, who ever heard of potato farmers in Florida?

These are the best leads since 1954's Maplewood Township leads, which gave my intrepid father and second cousin a wild goose chase ending in a few grainy photos of the Christmas Cactus. Unfortunately, the photos were lost in a move in 1963.

We will update you immediately here at the CCIB Legend of the Christmas Cactus Blog.

As always, if you have any information leading to the discovery of the Christmas Cactus, or to report a sighting, please email us at legendofthechristmascactus@gmail.com.

-Mister E.

Long Awaited Conclusion of the Legend in 2006?

Welcome back to the Christmas Cactus Investigation Bureau Blog! As you can see from our post dates, we don't update often, but when we have news of the mysterious monstrosity of Cacti Noel's, we post immediately. As Christmas time roles near, it is time to start deploying our field unit vans for constant scanning and alert status in the Christmas season. Two of our field unit vans will be patrolling different sides of Houston, TX throughout the month of December. Patterns have led us to believe that the most likely location for a cactus event to occur this year is Houston, TX, however, one field unit van will remain at the headquarters, ready for an emergency pursuit of any high priority leads anywhere else in the nation, in case Cacti Noel decides to pull a fast one on us.

I have confidence this year, that we will not be foiled in our attempt to better the world by solving the Legend of the Christmas Cactus. All mankind depends upon our success!

As always, if you have any information leading to the discovery of the Christmas Cactus or to report a sighting, please email us at legendofthechristmascactus@gmail.com.

Christmas Cactus FAQ

We here at the CCIB receive many questions in the email inbox all year round, so we decided to answer some of the most common questions in a FAQ here on the website. Please help keep your eyes out for any mysterious green cactus in your area!

Christmas Cactus Frequently Asked Questions
What is the Legend of the Christmas Cactus?
This legend has been passed down from generation to generation. As the legend goes, the Christmas Cactus appears mysteriously around the Christmas holidays, carried no doubt by characters of certain dubious intent who claim to be called "Noel Cacti." (Also known as "Cacti Noel.") The motive is unconfirmed, but records of the legend dating back to medieval times have been discovered, leading us to believe that this "Noel Cacti" is a shady person or group that passes on its secrets to a new generation of sinister ne'er-do-wells.

Today's Christmas Cactus takes the form of a hideous inflatable thing, occasionally seen with a Santa Claus hat and held in place by wires. In decades past the Christmas Cactus has been photographed, showing it to have been a hard plastic monstrosity illuminated with a light bulb. Prior to the advent of photography, the Christmas Cactus was described as a paper mache statue painted green with a large Santa Hat according to period newspaper reports. In the pre-colonial era, Puritan minister Ronald Wilkerdean preached on the evils of the "Cacti Noel", described as a 'wood and clothe contraption' that was 'lyklie from the devil'.

So the legend continues. No one knows who the mysterious and timeless cadre of shady characters who perpetrate this tacky and unwelcomed affliction. Few people since the DeMoines Incident in 1948 has seen a Christmas Cactus planter. No one has apprehended these shady workers of hooliganism. But we are closer than ever.

What is the CCIB?
CCIB stands for "Christmas Cactus Investigation Bureau". We here at the CCIB have been on the forefront of the mystery for the past decade. Based here in Daytona Beach, my quest to locate and solve the Christmas Cactus legend began in my childhood when my old Grandpa E told me the story of how he became a victim of the legend. Grandpa E. was so shocked by the sudden appearance of the Christmas Cactus in his front yard that he was struck speechless for three weeks! The following year he launched the Christmas Cactus Investigation Bureau International, and some time later, I took over the company to allow him to retire. Since then, myself, my brother in-law's third cousin, Great Uncle Derick, and my father before me have all been on the trail of the elusive mystery that preys upon unwary people and poses a great threat to Christmas cheer (not to mention health, safety, and property values).

What does the Christmas Cactus look like so I can keep alert?
The current form of the Christmas Cactus is an inflatable yard "ornament" of questionable taste. It is large and green and wears a Santa Claus hat. It glows with an eeries green light and if taken unawares, it will frighten people of lesser constitutions and small children. It has been known to change forms from year to year, but always is an ugly thing, of questionable taste. Descriptions from earlier decades confirm the hideous nature of this devious prank, and many have become light-headed, startled, or fainted upon seeing the Cactus appear in their yard.

What do I do if I see or hear of the Christmas Cactus?
Whatever you do, if you think you know someone who is the victim of a Christmas Cactus event, do not touch the apparition and contact us! Take many photos and if possible, monitor the thing to take pictures of whoever comes to pick it up. As always, if you have any information leading to the discovery of the Christmas Cactus, or to report a sighting, please email us at legendofthechristmascactus@gmail.com. If you notice any suspicious characters, do not hesitate to snap a photo, record their appearance, and gather lots of information.

It's in MY yard!!! HELP!
The top priority is to contact the CCIB so that we can come and monitor your location and keep a look-out for any suspicious characters that may be the mysterious perpetrator. Make sure to take plenty of pictures, and most importantly: leave it in your yard! In many past incidents when the cactus was taken down by the victims themselves, Noel Cacti resorted to vandalistic acts including tee-pee, graffiti, and even window-busts! If the cactus appears in your yard, contact the CCIB immediately at legendofthechristmascactus@gmail.com.

Where has the Christmas Cactus been sighted?
The Cactus has been internationally sighted. It is not known if there is just one or many of them. Patterns do emerge in locations from year to year. During the 1930s, it appeared from seven years straight in the same small neighborhood of Mantoshik, MA. Afterward, it appeared in California, then for three years straight in the on the same street in Washington, D.C. In the 1950s, it always appeared in a different state, but in the 1960s, spent nine years in one small village in Oklahoma. In the eighties, it was in Florida, Alabama and North Carolina. Since 1998, the Cactus has appeared mostly in Texas, and since 2002, always in the Houston area. We see patterns arise which lead us to believe that the perpetrator, Noel Cacti, is either an individual who remains close to a home region, or an organization that transfers the cactus to regions, parking the preposterous potted plant on homeowners in one area for multiple consecutive years, ranging even up to a decade. Because of the current trends, we will be focusing our attention mostly on the Houston, TX area until the pattern changes.

What are the historic references you refer to?
The Christmas Cactus legend has a long history; sometimes it is hard to uncover. Yet confirmed Cactus events have been discovered all the way back to medieval times. We do not know when it began, but frequent newspaper articles are common beginning in the 1800s. While the earliest true proof of the existence of the Christmas Cactus is dated back to the middle ages, it is still suspected that the sinister scoundrel(s), called "Cacti Noel," began causing calamity to Christmas cheer as early as the third century AD when the Christmas holiday was first introduced to the world. There is no true proof of this hectic holiday harassment so early in history, but legends have been passed down in a number of families with Germanic roots of a cacti plague around Christmas time dating back to the 200s.

Isn't this just a silly prank?
It might appear that way at first. But over the years, a pattern has developed that shows it to be much larger than just a simple prank. The intention of the "Noel Cacti" (whether it is a person or underground network of conspirators, we do not yet know) seems to be to startle, frighten and harm people. The overall effect of this dastardly blight upon society is to lessen the Christmas spirit and to cast derision upon all that is good and festive. Therefore, we here at the CCIB take this seriously. For the sake of all those who have been victimized, traumatized and inconvenienced by the Noel Cacti and their holiday terror, we will continue to investigate.

Why is this important at all?
First, victims of the Christmas Cactus are forever changed. They enter into a life of anxiety and fear because the sanctity of their holiday revelry has been violated. Second, the Christmas Cactus is an offense to all who love and value Christmas. Third, the Christmas Cactus is a health hazard to all who have feeble hearts, small children, pets and weak constitutions. Finally, it lowers property values and blights neighborhoods wherever Cacti Noel strikes.

What is the motive of the Cacti Noel?
The true motive of Cacti Noel is not fully clear. We know that in the past, it has usually been placed in the yards of those who refuse to decorate for the holiday season. On many occasions, though, it has also appeared in the yards of those who over-decorate. It is rare, but has happened, that the dark delinquent of dubious decisiveness have planted the cactus in a yard moderately decorated for the holidays. We at the CCIB agree, that his motives seem to be to destroy Christmas cheer for those unfortunate victims of the incident.

Where can I get the book "Legend of the Christmas Cactus: A Detective's Manual"?
To buy the Investigator's Handbook, click "Merchandise" at the top of the page. You can purchase the book for a small payment of $29.95 when the manual is released (coming soon!). The funds will go towards supporting the CCIB.

Who currently staffs the CCIB?
We are a loose network of family who have been seeking the perpetrators of this heinous crime for decades. I, E., am the chief researcher and investigator. I have enlisted my brother in-law's third cousin, we call him Great Uncle Derick, as a field investigator and mechanic. My faithful assistant is cousin Ernie, who runs field operations and does our high-tech work. We also have occasional volunteer investigators, and have become the chief source of all Christmas Cactus Legend information. We were recently interviewed on KTUI's morning show about the Cactus sightings in Delaware (which turned out to be a dead end), and have an investigation guide coming out soon for all amateur investigators.

Christmas Cactus Hoax in the news

A man in Stockton thought he had been a victim of the Christmas Cactus in 1972, but the local newspaper clearly had this one debaunked. Mr. Barber's son sent us this clipping recently, and since I am devoted to the mystery whether its a hoax or legitimate sighting, it is my duty as your faithful Investigator to share.

2005 - Year of Disappointment

So my friends, I have the uncomfortable task of bringing you sad news....again.

The Christmas Cactus has given us the slip once again. We arrived in Katy, Tx following our leads to find the I-10 under construction, filled with traffic, and horribly congested. With our map, purchased at some place called "Buckee's" somewhere in backwoods Texas, we located this place called Katy, and assumed it would be a small town west of the city of Houston. Simple, right? Wrong. This place is enormous. We drove for hours on end, sacrificing our own Christmas day while trying to faithfully follow the mystery.

We didn't locate the place until today when we spotted a yard displaying the sure signs of a Christmas Cactus plant (these signs will soon be published in my upcoming book, "The Legend of The Christmas Cactus: A Detective's Manual"). I tried to interview the home owner, a pastor of a local church. Unfortunately, he was loading his very large family into a van and heading out someplace. He said to call him and gave me a number, but I must have written it down wrong, because when I called, it turned out to be "Wok Bo Number 7 Buffet". Now I am at a loss.

I KNOW it was there! I saw the unmistakable signs in the yard, and was THIS CLOSE! Unfortunately, we have had to leave Katy due to pressing schedules and lack of funds. Maybe YOU can help me. Do you know of any Katy Texas area churches that fit the description "family inter-graded"? That's what I believe the pastor said to me. I didn't catch his name, so that's the only clue I have to go on.

So folks, unless we can locate the whereabouts of this pastor, we will be out of hope yet again.

As always, if you have any information leading to the discovery of the Christmas Cactus, or to report a sighting, please email us at legendofthechristmascactus@gmail.com.

Christmas Cactus confirmed in Katy, Texas

Another big break has come our way! The Christmas Cactus has been spotted in a yard in Katy, Texas! We are hoping to send our field unit to investigate, but it may take a few days to get there: While inspecting our previous lead in Austin, the water pump in the CCIB van went out, so we're in the shop, out of comission, and delayed. I hope we can be running in a few days or we will once again miss the opportunity of a lifetime to solve the mystery of just WHO is behind this Christmas Cactus legend!

Does anyone know where Katy, Texas is?

Christmas Cactus sighted in Texas

Word came through the Christmas Cactus alert network that there has been a sighting in Austin, Texas. On the 20th of December, a maroon Chevy pickup was seen speeding away from a home on Dakota Avenue off Carson Way, apparently on a botched planting mission.

As always, if you have any information leading to the discovery of the Christmas Cactus, or to report a sighting, please email us at legendofthechristmascactus@gmail.com.

-Mister E.

Research Lead - 1909 San Delmar Article

Here's a great article that I discovered with the help of a tipster in Phoenix, AZ. He sent in this scan of an article that can only help to clarify the legend of the Christmas Cactus. A request has been mailed to the San Delmar Post-Gazette, who took over the Inspector in 1948, seeking more information.

I'll keep you posted as the holiday season comes, but never fear, even in May the CCIB is hard at work.

As always, if you have any information leading to the discovery of the Christmas Cactus, or to report a sighting, please email us at legendofthechristmascactus@gmail.com.

Sighting in Canton, AR

The Christmas Cactus has been seen once again in Arkansas. Mr. Dale P. of Canton, AR (true identity on file) phoned in a tip that the Christmas Cactus has mysteriously appeared in a home's yard behind Booker T. Washington Jr. High School. When CCIB field investigators arrived, the Christmas Cactus was no where to be found.

Investigators did recover a guy line stake and an extension cord, and local deputy Oliver Jackson, Jr. has reviewed local security camera footage but has declined our request for an interview.

Please email legendofthechristmascactus@gmail.com is you have any leads to the whereabouts of the elusive Christmas Cactus.

A New Year and a New Tool in the Search for the Elusive Christmas Cactus

Welcome to all of our friends and co-investigators who have over the years sought to solve the age-old mystery of the elusive Christmas Cactus. This legend has been passed down from generation to generation, and as long-time Cactus hunters know, we here at the Christmas Cactus Investigation Bureau have been on the forefront of the mystery for the past decade. Based here in beautiful Carnegiea (a town of doubters and naysayers if I do say so myself), my quest to locate and solve the Christmas Cactus legend began in my childhood when Grandpa E told me the story of how he became yet another victim of the legend back in 1930. Poor old Grandpa E, he was so shocked by the sudden appearance of the Christmas Cactus in his front yard that he was struck speechless for three weeks! The following year, Grandpa E. officially launched the Christmas Cactus Investigation Bureau International, which I later took over to allow Grandpa E. to rest in the peace of retirement, knowing that he had dedicated his life to serving the world by seeking to solve the legend.

Since then, myself, my brother in-law's third cousin, Great Uncle Derick, and my father before me have all been on the trail of the elusive mystery that preys upon unwary people and poses a great threat to Christmas cheer (not to mention health, safety, and property values).

As the legend goes, the Christmas Cactus appears mysteriously around the Christmas holidays, carried no doubt by characters of certain dubious intent, apparently to 'beautify' unfortunate homes who have failed to decorate. This motive is unconfirmed, but records of the legend dating back to medieval times seem to bear this out.

Today's Christmas Cactus takes the form of a hideous inflatable thing, occasionally seen with a Santa Claus hat and held in place by wires. In decades past the Christmas Cactus has been photographed, showing it to have been a hard plastic monstrosity illuminated with a light bulb. Prior to the advent of photography, the Christmas Cactus was described as a paper mache statue painted green with a large Santa Hat according to period newspaper reports. In the pre-colonial era, Puritan minister Ronald Wilkerdean preached on the evils of the "Cacti Noel", described as a 'wood and clothe contraption' that was 'lyklie from the devil'. Unfortunately for Minister Wilkerdean, the Cacti Noel was discovered in his root cellar and his ruse was exposed. Despite pleas for leniency, citing the village's statute regarding 'goode natured pranking', Rev. Wilkerdean was sentenced to be run out of town on a rail.

So the legend continues. No one knows who the mysterious and timeless cadre of shady characters who perpetrate this tacky and unwelcomed affliction. No one since the DeMoines Incident in 1948 has seen a Christmas Cactus planter. No one has apprehended these shady workers of hooliganism. But we are closer than ever.

Now, in 2004, with the advent of this thing called a "Blog", the Christmas Cactus Investigation Bureau now has a new tool! We hope to uncover this mystery once and for all. With the broad audience of blogging, we now move from a fax network, ads in local Greensheet newspapers, and notices on grocery store cork-boards into the Computer Age! We will also be discontinuing our monthly newsletter, since all of our mailing list members in the CCIB Alert Network should have access to this interweb thing. Besides, my cousin and faithful assistant, Ernie, broke the copy machine down at the corner store last month, so we can't make more newsletters anyhow.

We will get to the bottom of the mystery, or at least make substantial dents in the mystery for those who follow in our footsteps. For the season of 2004, we will be posting any sightings, leads and info right here, so check back often!