As the holiday season is in its prime, Christmas decorations are going up all over the nation. It is usually at this time we get a large increase in activity in our email in-box. Sightings have been steadily pouring in over the past week, and we have three high-probability leads to investigate this year.
Lead number 1 comes from Raleigh Durham, NC. A local tax assessor spotted what he believed to be the Christmas Cactus being planted in a yard known to belong to a family who rarely decorates for the holidays. From the assessor's description, this is a prime lead. Unit 3 is currently on the way to investigate.
Lead number two comes from a rocket-scientist of a local town called Friendswood, Texas. He claims to have spotted the legendary Cactus in his neighborhood, but cell phone static cut short our conversation. A second call, anonymously, reported the same incident, with details that lead us to believe we have an authentic Christmas Cactus sighting. We've dispatched field unit 2 to Friendswood, wherever that is.
Lead three comes from Lakeland, Florida. This one was emailed to us by a local potato farmer who claims the Christmas Cactus is in his yard as I type. We'll investigate based upon his excellent description. Though unit 1 has been dispatched to the scene and is confident in a positive identification, your host is doubtful. Last year's Florida sighting turned out to be a Mickey Mouse yard ornament with a bad case of mold. Besides, who ever heard of potato farmers in Florida?
These are the best leads since 1954's Maplewood Township leads, which gave my intrepid father and second cousin a wild goose chase ending in a few grainy photos of the Christmas Cactus. Unfortunately, the photos were lost in a move in 1963.
We will update you immediately here at the CCIB Legend of the Christmas Cactus Blog.
As always, if you have any information leading to the discovery of the Christmas Cactus, or to report a sighting, please email us at legendofthechristmascactus@gmail.com.
-Mister E.
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About Me
- Christmas Cactus Investigation Bureau
- Mister E., your diligent host. After all these years I am still seeking the elusive Christmas Cactus, wherever it may turn up.
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The Legend of The Christmas Cactus
It all began in the dusty pages of history. Legends say that the "Cacti Noel" was the work of a shady underground group who would target the yards and homes of those unfortunates who refused to decorate for Christmas. As time passed, the Cacti Noel took on various guises, currently it appears to be an inflatable yard ornament of gruesome taste, and has been dubbed the "Christmas Cactus" since the early part of the 20th Century.
We here at the Christmas Cactus Investigation Bureau (CCIB) are dedicated to tracking down the perpetrators of this dubious practice. Since 1930 when my poor old Grandpa E. was so shocked by the sudden appearance of the Christmas Cactus that he was struck speechless for three weeks, our family has been working for the betterment of all mankind.
If you have any information leading to the discovery of the Christmas Cactus, or to report a sighting, please email us at legendofthechristmascactus at gmail.com.
We here at the Christmas Cactus Investigation Bureau (CCIB) are dedicated to tracking down the perpetrators of this dubious practice. Since 1930 when my poor old Grandpa E. was so shocked by the sudden appearance of the Christmas Cactus that he was struck speechless for three weeks, our family has been working for the betterment of all mankind.
If you have any information leading to the discovery of the Christmas Cactus, or to report a sighting, please email us at legendofthechristmascactus at gmail.com.
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