Pleading for your aid, dear readers!

I am chomping at the bit for information, fellow Cacti investigators! Since the disappearance of a confirmed cactus event, we have focused our efforts on locating the holiday specter that has vanished. I checked into a local motel on Highway 35 in Pearland today in the hopes of joining Ernie on his systematic search of Pearland for the missing cactus. Once here, I have not been able to locate Ernie nor have I seen FUV1 in the area. I only hope Ernie has had more good fortune than I have. FUV2 is acting up, but should be fine. We are hopeful to solve this mystery this year, we are so close.

If you have any information about the whereabouts of the cactus, or if you know any residents who have been victimized by the Cacti Noel this year, please encourage them to contact us at legendofthechristmascactus@gmail.com as soon as possible. It is critical that we contact the residents before Christmas day, for if they have removed the cactus themselves, they are in peril from the hazardous and unpredictable Cacti Noel. Who knows what mayhem can result if this shady group of person is faced with a challenge by one of its victims? Oh, the thought of it!

And to you, dear resident, who has surely received our letter begging you for help, would you please be bold and make a stand to help us solve this historically critical mystery of epic magnitude? If you have received our letter and viewed our website, surely then you know the great lengths to which we are spending ourselves. Since all of our suspected victims have not yet responded, we are considering delivering a second Letter of Urgency tomorrow on Christmas Eve... if the Christmas Cactus has struck your family or your friends, please alert them immediately of the dangers of not having the Christmas Cactus present on Christmas Day. We are almost to the end of the Christmas season and all our leads have dried up!

I will keep looking for Ernie and the cactus, and will update you later.

Until news arrives (or doesn't), if you have any information leading to the discovery of the Christmas Cactus, or to report a sighting, please email us at legendofthechristmascactus@gmail.com.