Cactus in the Slammer!

News has rolled in just as we were relegating 2010 to the annals of failure. While Mr. E and Ernie were headed back to Daytona Beach to lick their wounds, I (Derrick) received a message from the victims. Indeed, we do have a legitimate, confirmed Cactus event in Pearland, TX, and indeed our tip from the security fellow was accurate. Some time before the morning of December 20th, Cacti Noel struck our victim's home with the hideous inflatable cactus. Originally thought to be a wandering yard ornament, the odious nature of the green and red horror became apparent when it was discovered to have been plugged into the victim's home (a sure sign of a cactus event). Our security guard tipster must have witnessed the cactus in the earliest hours of its presence, and the photo we received shows the cactus to be boldly standing tall, defying all good taste and sensibilities.

That was when disaster stuck. When both Ernie and Mr. E surveilled the event location, the cactus had disappeared. The disappearance was unusual, unprecedented, and theories were proposed. A systematic search was conducted but bore no fruit. The victims of this holiday infliction did not respond to the letter we had sent (until now).

I was not able to track their actions after Mr. E's last blog post, but suffice to say that spirits and hope deflated quickly as our two heroic field investigators resolved to quietly come back home. Gas money is low, and it would have been a risk to keep the Field Units in the field.

We had depressing visions of once again losing an opportunity - then NEWS CAME! Our victim family was jolted into action by some unknown affirmation of our organization's legitimacy, much to our elation. We have received news from the "S" Family (names withheld for privacy as per CCIB policy) that the Cactus was apprehended by the local Police Department and is in custody pending the arrival of its rightful owner. Much to our amazement, there is a Christmas Cactus under lock and key, a gift horse into whos mouth we can gaze, an opportunity on a silver platter... but I digress.

Our plan has been proposed to the "S" family, we shall withold details for the moment, for we are sure that the Cacti Noel, whoever he/she/they are, follows with piqued interest this blog. We do not wish to tip our hat, show our cards, or let the proverbial cat out of the bag as to our plans to finally capture an actual Christmas Cactus. This news is gargantuan! The Christmas Cactus hasn't been held in government police custody since the Green Bay Arrest of 1994.

They are currently (as I type) passing through Mississippi headed back to Texas to arrange a meeting with the victims. I will update you when I receive our next scheduled communication from the field.

With great anticipation,
Derrick - CCIB HQ