Thursday, December 17, 2009

A Great Mystery, Investigation Delayed

I am back from our first investigation of the house where this morning's sighting and photograph were taken. I do not know whether to be stunned or disappointed. I am positive I had the right address, but the Christmas Cactus was not present. The house itself matched our lead's address (address withheld during investigation) and the description was correct, and I even believe I saw an impression on the ground of a Cactus base, but cannot be sure. What I am sure about is that the Cactus is not there.

I attempted to contact our witness, the school teacher, but she did not return email and did not leave us a phone number.

My three theories are:

1. The Christmas Cactus sighting was a cruel hoax by the Noel Cacti. After all, the Noel Cacti taunt email from October seemed to imply the shady group was planning to torment the CCIB with some sort of wild goose chase, and last year's three reports in Arizona were likely a trap set up by the villain himself to lure us off his path.

2. The Cactus was removed by the homeowner. We will dispatch a letter to the homeowner immediately (we like to keep it official; showing up on someone's doorstep unannounced has proven hazardous in the past). Our letter will be a standard sighting inquiry and we will include a copy of the photo give by our witness to see if the homeowner can confirm or deny the image.

3. The Christmas Cactus sighting information given to us by the witness was incorrect.

We genuinely hope that the Cactus has not been removed by the homeowner, this usually brings a series of further Cactus events to the home, but we will know more when we make contact with the home owner through official and formal channels. It is crucial at this point in time to alert the poor victim(s) of the dangers that come with hiding or removing a Christmas Cactus from its planted location, if, indeed, they were victimized.

As you can imagine, I am sorely disappointed, and now have to wait upon the mail as Uncle Derrick forwards our standard letter and case file photo to the home owner and we await a response. In the mean time, I will be patrolling the area in Field Unit Van No.1 as much as our limited gas funds allow, and will remain in the Days Inn here in Dickenson. Ernie will be joining me to conserve our expenses, but Uncle Derrick back at HQ is offline for some reason. We will call him soon.

Fan Q&A
We received a question from an amateur investigator overnight that was sadly lost in the excitement, so I will answer publicly and offer my apologies to the emailer, Mr. Pren Raman.

Mr. Raman asks "What is the best source of information for one interested in helping to solve this terribly cruel mystery?" That's a great question, and I apologize for not being more responsive Mr. Raman. The best source of info is this website and the CCIB Investigator's Handbook, which is almost ready for publishing. We have been working for years to revise the old edition (published 1976, discontinued 1982) and have become the world's foremost source for Christmas Cactus knowledge and investigation. Any amateur sleuths would be well served to buy our handbook when it comes out. We do not merely promote ourselves to be prideful or to make money (although the money will be a great help to solve the mystery for the benefit of mankind), but because it simply is true - we ARE the best source of information. Please read through our website from the bottom (Oldest entries) up to get the best education about the legend of the Christmas Cactus anywhere, until the handbook manual is released.

As always, if you have any information leading to the discovery of the Christmas Cactus, or to report a sighting, please email us at legendofthechristmascactus@gmail.com.


-Mister E.