Sad News: Cactus has Vanished for 2006!

Friends and faithful followers of the Christmas Cactus Legend, I bear bad news today. Alas, after a long trek through icy conditions, our trusty field unit has arrived in Friendswood, TX and followed leads to the location where the Christmas Cactus was reported. The home owner's wife and three children (who's identities are on file) were not able to give us any information, saying only "we don't know who owns that thing, but it's gone now. Did you put it here?" I declined of course.

And yes, the bad news is that the Christmas Cactus in gone, vanished! It has eluded me once again, and by such a narrow margin! I could almost touch it, and now its gone, like the mysterious thing that it is. All I was able to find is the sign that was placed upon the cactus, a photo is included here. I'm sending it to the lab for analysis, perhaps we can learn the identity of the perpetrators of this ghastly mystery if we can find cactus residue on the sign. It's a last gasp effort, but may yield valuable clues. Never give up hope, I always say.

So my friends, we move into another year. Where will it turn up? Will it show up again in Wyoming? New Jersey? Utah? Louisiana? Or will it remain in the area as trends seem to suggest? Who will be the unfortunate next victim of the legendary Christmas Cactus?

When we hear of it, you'll be the first to know. For 2006, signing off, Mister E.

Latest Sighting of 2006 Confirmed!

Cacti fans, I bear good news! Yesterday, an anonymous caller phoned in a tip from Friendswood, Texas, stating that the lead in Texas was not a hoax. A Christmas Cactus has been reported planted in some poor soul's yard by multiple callers. In fact, the homeowner must have never heard of the Christmas Cactus legend and thought that the inflatable monstrosity was lost, for he had placed a sign around the neck saying "LOST, PLEASE TAKE ME HOME". Our field unit is in route to Friendswood, which is apparently a town south of Houston. Since he's having to drive through the winter weather of Nebraska after investigating a tip there, he should be in south Houston, Texas on the 26th, and hopefully the Christmas Cactus will still be there and we can solve the mystery for good.

What a great tip! Stay tuned!

New sightings reported

As the holiday season is in its prime, Christmas decorations are going up all over the nation. It is usually at this time we get a large increase in activity in our email in-box. Sightings have been steadily pouring in over the past week, and we have three high-probability leads to investigate this year.

Lead number 1 comes from Raleigh Durham, NC. A local tax assessor spotted what he believed to be the Christmas Cactus being planted in a yard known to belong to a family who rarely decorates for the holidays. From the assessor's description, this is a prime lead. Unit 3 is currently on the way to investigate.

Lead number two comes from a rocket-scientist of a local town called Friendswood, Texas. He claims to have spotted the legendary Cactus in his neighborhood, but cell phone static cut short our conversation. A second call, anonymously, reported the same incident, with details that lead us to believe we have an authentic Christmas Cactus sighting. We've dispatched field unit 2 to Friendswood, wherever that is.

Lead three comes from Lakeland, Florida. This one was emailed to us by a local potato farmer who claims the Christmas Cactus is in his yard as I type. We'll investigate based upon his excellent description. Though unit 1 has been dispatched to the scene and is confident in a positive identification, your host is doubtful. Last year's Florida sighting turned out to be a Mickey Mouse yard ornament with a bad case of mold. Besides, who ever heard of potato farmers in Florida?

These are the best leads since 1954's Maplewood Township leads, which gave my intrepid father and second cousin a wild goose chase ending in a few grainy photos of the Christmas Cactus. Unfortunately, the photos were lost in a move in 1963.

We will update you immediately here at the CCIB Legend of the Christmas Cactus Blog.

As always, if you have any information leading to the discovery of the Christmas Cactus, or to report a sighting, please email us at legendofthechristmascactus@gmail.com.

-Mister E.

Long Awaited Conclusion of the Legend in 2006?

Welcome back to the Christmas Cactus Investigation Bureau Blog! As you can see from our post dates, we don't update often, but when we have news of the mysterious monstrosity of Cacti Noel's, we post immediately. As Christmas time roles near, it is time to start deploying our field unit vans for constant scanning and alert status in the Christmas season. Two of our field unit vans will be patrolling different sides of Houston, TX throughout the month of December. Patterns have led us to believe that the most likely location for a cactus event to occur this year is Houston, TX, however, one field unit van will remain at the headquarters, ready for an emergency pursuit of any high priority leads anywhere else in the nation, in case Cacti Noel decides to pull a fast one on us.

I have confidence this year, that we will not be foiled in our attempt to better the world by solving the Legend of the Christmas Cactus. All mankind depends upon our success!

As always, if you have any information leading to the discovery of the Christmas Cactus or to report a sighting, please email us at legendofthechristmascactus@gmail.com.