Hopes Dashed to Solve Mystery This Christmas

Our hopes are dashed yet again. Unless by some great act of wonder, field unit in van 2 has become hopelessly lost after making a series of blunders. We were so excited yesterday to have received confirmed pictures of the elusive and mysterious Christmas Cactus in a yard somewhere south of Houston, Texas using our new high tech night vision surveillance camera. After losing contact with van 2, apparently my cousin Ernie got lost and ended up in some place called Slidell... IN LOUISIANA! Now I'm not one to talk harshly about kin folk, but it's Ernie's last time running a CCIB field van, for because of his blundering driving and stubborn refusals to ask for directions, we've lost the Christmas Cactus for sure. If he ever manages to find the house where the Cactus was photographed yesterday, it will probably be long gone.

Friends and fellow Cactus hunters, this makes me so sad! Once again, we were THIS CLOSE!

But we are not without at least a very slim chance. If you know the whereabouts of the Christmas Cactus, or can help us with the very few clues that Ernie managed to pass on to us before his cell phone went dead, maybe there is a chance to solve the mystery. Ernie said he was in a place called Clear Lake, somewhere around an office building that said "Boing". I can't find such a company, and this place called Clear Lake shows up on Google Maps as being brown in color, not clear, so it surely can't be the spot we are looking for. But armed with this info, there may still be hope this year. So, as always, if you have any information leading to the discovery of the Christmas Cactus, or to report a sighting in this so-called "Clear Lake" area, please email us at legendofthechristmascactus@gmail.com.

Latest Update! Sighting Confirmed!!!

Cactus fanatics, I bring you the greatest news since the 1954 Maplewood Township crisis! I am happy to report that Ernie, on his patrols of field unit van 2, has made a stealth pass of a house somewhere near Houston, TX, supposedly on the northeast side of the city. On this drive-by, Ernie spotted something mysterious, and sure enough, after glancing at the picture once again, he confirmed the reported sighting of the cactus in photograph form! Unfortunately, we have lots communication with van 2, perhaps due to the last phone that was cut short when our fearless driver made a wrong turn. Ernie has always been a little 'iffy,' but he was available and willing to go. We really need better field agents.

We hope to finally have the location pinned down before Christmas passes us by and the legendary Christmas Cactus is swept off into mystery for yet another year.

Fellow Cactus Hunters, I present to you the biggest break we've had in year, and the only known photo of the Christmas Cactus in its current form.

2007: Year of Anticipation

Greetings to all of our fellow cactus investigators! A new year has arrived, and it has brought with it a new opportunity to solve the age-old legend of holiday horror. Ladies and gentlemen, after the events of last year, I am more excited than I have been in years. I am gearing up with all of our new high-tech equipment, and will begin patrolling the Houston, TX area with cousin Ernie tomorrow morning at 4:00 AM, sharp. You will be the first to be updated as soon as any information relating to a cactus event is discovered. In the mean time, please consider supporting the CCIB this holiday season! Perhaps you could purchase a Christmas Cactus shirt for a loved one this Christmas to help fund our gas money this season and spread awareness of the great threat that lurks in the midst of everyday society.

As always, if you have any information leading to the discovery of the Christmas Cactus, or to report a sighting, please email us at legendofthechristmascactus@gmail.com.

Off-Season News - CCIB goes High Tech!

For those who check the CCIB Legend of the Christmas Cactus Blog in the non-Christmas Season, I bring you die-hard legend-seekers good news! The CCIB has just acquired a high tech night vision surveillance camera! Yes, now we can operate 24 hours a day from at least one of our field vans! This will come in handy when we get that inevitable lead that takes us to the Christmas Cactus, for our stake-out team will be prepared to observe from a distance to finally capture the culprits on tape! How wonderful a tool this will be to finally, once and for all, answer the age-old question "Who put this ghastly thing in my yard?"

Celebrate with us this balmy July day, for when the weather turns chilly and thoughts of sugar plums and cactus dance in our heads, we'll be ready!

As always, if you have any information leading to the discovery of the Christmas Cactus, or to report a sighting, please email us at legendofthechristmascactus@gmail.com.

-Mister E.